Five Reasons Why Writers Should Belong to Book Groups

"Reading is the whetstone on which a writer hones his sword."

(Writer's Little Book of Wisdom by John Long)

On my way home this past week from our monthly book group meeting, I thought of how many different views of a story entered into our discussion. This month, we read The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. For me, a wonderful read! For some others in the group, not so great! But, then, the beauty of the group is sharing differing opinions and feeling comfortable enough to express them.

My particular group is not composed of writers. In fact, I think I'm the only writer who attends. Each member brings a unique perspective to our discussion. If you are a writer, joining a book group is a great way to build skills.

By being part of a book group, you can learn more about:

1. Character and Motivation:
We ask each other what motivated this character. And was this character believable? Why did the author choose that particular motivation and was it strong enough to carry the reader through?

2.  Analytical skills:
Sharing your views about what you've read enhances your skill to step back and view the book as a topic of discussion. Attaining that distance helps much more than the solitary pursuit of studying other authors.

     3.  Plot and structure:
No author can get a poor plot past a book group's collective eyes! We ask: was there enough action, enough conflict? Did the ending work for us? We question what theme the author intended us to take away from the story.

     4.  Voice and point of view:
The Help by Kathryn Stockton was a classic example of how to use voice and point of view to tell a spell-binding story. She did a masterful job of using dialect, as well, to bring her characters to life.
   
     5.  Marketability:
For aspiring writers, there's nothing better than learning what other readers like. Part of our discussion always involves how easy or difficult it was to get caught up in the book and why. Most of us are pretty committed to finishing the book so we can contribute at our meetings, so it's really telling when the consensus is that something didn't work to draw us in.
    
So, consider joining a book group to help hone your skills. I recommend looking for one that reads all types of genres.

Here is a list of some of my favorites from our group:

          To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
          The House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus
          The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
          The Life of Pi by Yann Martell
         The Color of Water by James McBride
         The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon
         Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
         Master Butcher's Singer's Singing Club by Louise Erdrich
        Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
                                              A Thousand White Women by Jim Fergus

In Search of Shampoo

"How can I control my life when I can't control my hair?" Author Unknown

It all began innocently enough last January. We were getting ready to head south for the winter and one of my last tasks was my usual haircut. I'm not sure why, but I asked the hairdresser, "Do you think I should consider changing my hairstyle?" Maybe it was the cumulative effect of seeing myself in that hairdresser dull drape with the same short hair style for nearly fifty years. Is it time for a change?

"A bob," my hairdresser said, "it's a cut for all ages. You'd look good in that style." She said it would take about seven months to complete the transition. Being away seemed the perfect time to start. The first couple months were uneventful, with an occasional shaping to keep it in some semblance of order.

As my style change advanced, I began to realize a woman's relationship with her hair can be a complicated thing, and I begin to question whether how one chooses to wear it says something about where she is along her life journey. My daughter, Christina, believes a woman who never changes her hair is leaving it in the era where she was most happy.

Hmm. That's interesting. I first cut my hair short when I started nursing school (see picture). I know I'm much less serious these days than I was then, much more content with life, but let's face it, age 19 is a pretty exciting, carefree time in our lives. Or is that I'm merely older and less passionate about life now? I hope not.

In 1985, Hubert de Givenchy wrote in Vogue magazine, "Hairstyle is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself."(for more hair quotes, go to http://www.quotegarden.com/hair.html)  Sorry, Hubert, but I don't want to believe that. And yet...

And so, I began my pilgrimage of growth. Hair, that is. In the past, I paid little attention to my coiffure. Once I combed it in the morning, I figured it was on its own. Suddenly, I now find myself checking every mirror to make sure the ends are smooth, not sticking out in all directions. When I wake up in the morning and sit up in bed, I can see myself in the large mirror directly opposite my bed. My hair is definitely beginning to look just like that of the caricature on the vase my granddaughter, Julia, gave me about five years ago. Does she have some sort of forecasting power, I wonder?

                   
I'm noticing the color, too. Again, something that never concerned me before. It's white, has been since I was in my 30's so I've never seen white hair as part of my own aging, but now, I notice some yellow tinges creeping in. Not blonde, much more like slightly used dish water. Most likely it's due to the annual flushing of our water lines here on our island, but somehow, that never bothered me as it does now. This hair thing is getting more and more complicated.

So I trek over the bridge to the mainland in search of shampoo, the kind for silver hair. I've seen it before, even bought it once or twice on sale. Funny how they never call it shampoo for gray or white hair. Another sign of ageism in advertising. That discovery is reinforced when I notice even the lady getting into the tub with the side door on the TVadvertisement is younger than the real women who need this assistive device, as are those lucky ladies on the Viagra commercials.

See how this whole hair thing is mushrooming. Ah, if only my hair would grow as fast. I am beginning to ask myself: why a change now?  Is it to prove some sort of flexibility point or only my exceptional stubbornness in not knowing when to fold this whole hair quest?

Back to my search for shampoo. CVS has lots of shampoo, as does Walmart. None for white, excuse me, silver hair. Target wins the variety award, hands down. More than one long aisle is full of shampoo – for coarse, curly, fine, oily, limp, dull, dry, damaged, stressed, or straight hair. Flavors, too. Lemon scented, strawberry, watermelon. It's possible, I think, to end up smelling like a fruit salad just by shampooing your hair. Such variety, but no shampoo for silver hair, none to get the yellow out, though, lots for blonde hair that needs a lift.

As I drive home from my fruitless shampoo search, I wonder whether my quest is really for shampoo or a new style. The journey, for sure, has led me to a greater awareness of how women perceive themselves and how self image and worth are affected by our image driven media.

I think about all the brave women who have shaved their heads in defiance of the impending loss of hair as a result of chemotherapy for breast cancer. I think of my granddaughter, Grace, who at age 13, grew her hair long enough to donate it to Locks for Love ( http://www.locksoflove.org/).  And the absolutely beautiful young woman with alopecia who is running for Miss Delaware. She definitely has a strong sense of self.

Their courage in the face of  adversity inspires me, and I think, perhaps my search for shampoo isn't really that at all, but a seeking for something much more than a simple bob.

For more information on how to donate hair for women and children with illness, go to: http://www.pantene.com/en-us/beautiful-lengths-cause/default.aspx.  or http://hair.lovetoknow.com/Donating_Hair_for_Cancer_Victims

The Elusive Nature of Satisfaction

 Most mornings, unless it's raining, I hop on my bike and ride to the south end of our island. It's a good way to start the day and get my daily exercise. Today, I hesitated. We're in the midst of one of those beastly heat waves unrelieved even by the usual ocean breeze. No, I decide, better to go since the day will only get hotter.

I grind out the miles on the way down and when I turn to ride back, the wind picks up, its full force in my face. For a moment I welcome the blessed hint of coolness it brings, then, dissatisfaction begins to set in. I have to work harder now to peddle the remaining two miles.

A bit of remorse hits me. How hard it is for me, and others, too, I think, to ever be fully satisfied! And if we manage those moments of complete peace with who and where we are, how hard it is to hold onto that satisfaction.

As I ponder my ungratefulness, Mick Jagger's "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" plays in my head. I've always loved that song , but never really incorporated it into my psyche before as a social statement. Mostly, I connected it with dancing and sex (or the lack thereof!). Now the song lyrics buzz in my head to tease, to torment, and to remind me of the elusive nature of satisfaction .

From there, my mind drifts to Goldilocks and The Three Bears. Am I destined to constantly find my life too hard or too soft, and never just right? How about you? Do you, too, find yourself often stuck in the land of "no satisfaction?'

While I push my bike into the garage, I recall buying it several weeks ago. It's a hot pink $99 Schwinn from Walmart's. What a bargain! Of course, at the time, I groused about the fact that Schwinn bikes are now made in China, but then, isn't almost everything else?

The fact this was my first brand new bike hits me. What strikes me even more is the realization I never hungered for a new one, or put it on my Santa list as a child. Only one "rich" boy In our neighborhood had a shiny, new bike and he was considered an "outsider." How could I envy him since he and his family seldom attended neighborhood parties? Maybe I should have felt sorry for him, but that never occurred to me, either. Partly due to "kid" callousness, and partly because his parents "imported" playmates from some other place.

Now, for a moment, I'm truly satisfied as I realize my childhood was such that I didn't need a new bike to be happy or to belong. If we could recapture the wonder of our early years, perhaps, we could take an unreserved joy in that sudden, swift, cooling wind in our face. And ask why was Goldilocks so worried about too hot or too cold porridge. After all, wouldn't it cool or couldn't she warm it up? Who would ever eat porridge anyway?

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction, http://www.keno.org/stones_lyrics/satisfaction.html.

A Place to Nourish Your Soul

"You mix it with your love and emotion to create magic. Through cooking, you raise your spiritual level and balance yourself in a world that is materialistic." Laura Esqiuvel, Like Water for Chocolate

Everyone has a favorite room in their house. Mine is the kitchen, though, it wasn't always so. Several lifetimes ago, as I approached my wedding day, my then-future husband began suggesting that perhaps I should be spending time with my mother learning how to cook. I brushed off his increasing insistence, saying, "If I can read, I can cook."

After we'd been married for a few months, he confessed his parents had been teasing him, telling him he would starve once we were married since I didn't know how to cook. "Just a pretty face," my future father-in-law had said, "That isn't going to keep you from getting hungry."

I must admit for the first few months of our marriage we did exist mostly on love. My meals were definitely substandard, but dear Will quickly learned not to tell me so. Ah, discretion, another secret of a long, happy marriage. But that's a subject for another time…

Gradually, my skills improved until even my in-laws, especially my father-in-law, looked forward to coming to Sunday dinners at our house. Still, it wasn't until I returned to work that I truly realized my kitchen as a refuge and my spiritual place. I'd come home frazzled by all the work politics and problems, too tired to cook, I'd think, until I started to prepare the food.      

I began to notice that by the time dinner was ready to put on the table, a smoothing of my frayed nerves had occurred. The simple task of making a salad, peeling potatoes, or stirring the spaghetti sauce became the respite I needed to reflect on the day and my life.

A few years ago, I bought a small book entitled The Mindful Cook by Isaac Cronin. Cronin says "you can nourish your soul, develop your mind, and eat well at the same time!" That sentence, as well as, the rest of this neat tome gave me a new perspective on the everyday task of time in the kitchen.

The idea of combining those three elements into necessary tasks intrigued me. And the author gave what I already knew a voice and a mindfulness I didn't realize was possible - that by intentionally putting myself in a spiritual frame of mind, my kitchen would be even more the place where I could always retreat and find harmony.

Here's some tips on how you, too, can bring mindfulness to your cooking:

1. Make the kitchen uniquely yours by adding a color you especially like. My favorite is teal and the backsplash is the area I see most.
2. Put favorite pictures or paintings where you can view them while you're preparing food. I've placed pictures of my two sets of grandchildren, over my stove so I can send them my love, thoughts, and prayers. Somehow, I know those thoughts do fly across the miles to kiss them even though my positive regard may not be consciously received.
3. Be fully present by centering on one task at a time. Multitasking may be in vogue, but it's definitely overrated and more stressful!
4. Mentally quiet yourself so you can really see the color of deep red summer tomatoes, smell the pungent aroma of rosemary, and feel the texture of  papery parchment covered onions.
5. Be good to yourself even if it's a meal for one. In the early Julia Child TV shows (I'm talking black and white here, at least at my house), once the meal was ready, she sat down alone, wine glass in hand, to eat and savor what she'd prepared. 

So, whether you're toasting a bagel, making sticky buns (one of my favorites), or roasting a turkey, eating alone or with others, you can bring spiritual nourishment to the kitchen and table. Somehow, the food tastes even better when mixed with joy and mindfulness.

Bon Appetit!

A Writers’ Conference for All the Write Reasons

"I'm going to write because I cannot help it." Charlotte Bronte  

At the Philadelphia Writer's Conference this past weekend (June 11 – 13), Loretta Barrett, of Loretta Barrett Books, used almost the same words in describing writers she represents. She and Charlotte are right. Writing is what we do because we must. We love it and yet, sometimes resent it when we think of all the other things we could be doing like going to the beach, shopping, or just hanging out. Sometimes, we ask ourselves why we choose to do something that can be so frustrating, but then, we have one of those moments when the words come easy or when we're able to pull exactly what we need from our gut. Those moments are rare for me, so I often have to slog through. Still, I can't not write.

Going to a writers' conference is a wonderful way to refresh, renew, and share your passion for your craft. It's especially nice to talk to other writers and get some of their advice. For example, the first morning I was sitting in the hotel lobby, a woman sat down near me and asked, "Are you working on your pitch?"
"Yes," I said.
She smiled, and said, "Want to try it out on me? I've done this before – successfully."
Her advice included the following:

1. Describe your story in one sentence that includes the character, her goal, and the conflict that prevents her achieving that goal.
2. Tell what makes it different from other books.
3. Take a note card with a few key points.
4. Show enthusiasm and belief in your book.

One of my main goals in attending was to try to sell my novel, Bellehaven. Armed with the advice of my lobby angel, I was ready, though nervous, to speak to an agent. The process at a conference is a lot like speed dating (although I've never experienced that first hand!). It offers an all too brief opportunity to make a favorable impression and hopefully hear an agent say the magic words, "Send me 60 pages and your synopsis. I'd like to take a look at it."
This year, success! I was able to pitch my book well enough to have an agent and a publisher ask to see a portion of my novel. Now all I have to do is write a letter, review and refine my first 60 pages, polish my synopsis, and get it all in the mail. It's a wonderful, but scary prospect.

The greatest thing about a writers' conference, besides the energy the gathering garners and the knowledgeable workshop presenters (all successful writers), is the pleasure of talking to fellow writers. Take business cards and use the time between workshops to meet as many writers as you can. You'll find lots of people have knowledge they can share, whether it be about the art of writing or the business side.

Participate in everything offered. Register early enough to send manuscripts for professional critiquing by workshop leaders, as well as, entries for the contests in your category. Consider trying another genre, too, like writing a poem or an essay if you normally write fiction. Check out the Wall contests if the conference offers them. These are all one page submissions that you pin to the wall. Flash fiction, nonfiction, and poetry are the three categories. If you're like me, you'll be tired and ready to rest just about the time of night when the rap sessions begin. Fortunately for me, I had a friend who insisted that I "go for just a little while." Once there, the process energized me enough to stay for the whole session.

The keynote speaker, Larry Kane, Philadelphia TV anchor, opened the conference by telling us his writing journey, one that included traveling with the Beatles on their first American tour. At the time, he was 21 and reluctant to go. He thought it was more important to stay at home to report on the Cuban crisis than to go "off with a band no one would remember three months later." His editor's insistence that he go on the tour changed the trajectory of his career. What direction would his life had taken if he had skipped that experience? Sitting there listening, I thought how his story sounded more like fiction than real life. I guess John Lennon said it best in one of his songs: "Life is just what happens when you're busy making other plans."

What Larry Kane experienced was unusual. Most of us don't have something that amazing come along to help propel us toward success. We have to make our own breaks. Going to a writers' conference can be a tool to help us.

Lyric from Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. Available at: http://www.beatles.ws/songa-e.htm.

Airport Musing: Passing the time and pondering the prosaic

When we looked for flights to Charlotte, North Carolina, we knew we wanted to avoid the Philadelphia airport at all costs. Living on the New Jersey coast, shooting down the Garden State Parkway sans lights and heavy traffic to the Atlantic City airport seemed worth it even though we had to change planes in Atlanta. Although we still had to leave our Island sanctuary, we could travel to and from the airport without going too far inland.

Our youngest daughter, Sandy, who travels a great deal, never does connections. She always opts for a direct commute or what some people refer to as a "nonstop" flight. My husband, Will, likes to emphasize that there's no such thing as "nonstop" since sooner or later the plane has to stop. Old joke, and one that's not that funny, but I give the obligatory half chuckle, half groan each time he says it. After all, it's those little concessions that keep a relationship going.

It had been a while since I'd flown and I'd forgotten how deadening a layover in an airport can be, especially when the book you've brought doesn't turn out to be that good and you've played enough rummy to last a lifetime. Besides, you're in a losing streak. No fun to lose (or win!) all the time. Our three hour layover wasn't going as fast as I'd thought it would.

Initially, I enjoyed the people watching - so many people, in so many sizes, shapes, and colors, so many different languages spoken so rapidly on cell phones. I saw enough different laptops and notebooks to stock a megastore. If all these folks could pool their resources, they could help stimulate the economy. After a while, everyone seems to wear the same harried look.

Checking my watch, I realize we still have an hour before we board. What can we do now? I turn to Will and suggest we brainstorm ideas for future blogs. We started out slowly and proceeded to silly, but perhaps it was delirium setting in?

We began to make up a list of unimportant questions like:

• Why does it seem so many overweight people eat cottage cheese? Is that what is causing the problem?
• Does a black dress really make you thinner? Sexier? More sophisticated? Or is the aura of the "little black dress" just one of those myths propagated by some fashion designer stuck with a lot of black material?
• What are all these people thinking while they sit and wait as we do?
• How many coffees could I drink while waiting for our plane to come in?
• What's the most popular single item in all these carryon bags?
• How many bars are in Concourse C?
• Will the two men with oversize bags get to take them on the plane? And if so, will they manage to stuff them in the overhead?

I cannot take credit for this entire sampling of questions because the woman sitting on the other side of Will joined in. She, too, was waiting for the plane to Charlotte and was as bored as we were. As often happens in an airport, we quickly shared some of our life story with her. She, too, is a blogger. Her blog site is travlintracey@blogspot.com. Check her out. She is one of those rare individuals born, raised, and still living in Florida which prompted another question: Where have all the native Floridians gone? Tracey contributed this question when we expressed amazement at her brief telling of her life story. I thought it was noteworthy because during our winter sojourn in Florida, at least 90% of the people we met were from somewhere else.

One last question: Would I do the layover thing again now that I found how long it seems? Or will I opt for the busy Philadelphia or Newark airport and a nonstop (except for the landing!) next time? Hands down, I'll go for the small Atlantic City airport and the layover. Next time, however, I'll take extra books, a bigger notebook to write in, and possibly brush up on my poker skills.

Every Cliché has a Silver Lining

After several months away in sunny Florida, I looked at my office with fresh eyes and decided to sort through my bookcase. Deciding which books to donate and which to keep is always a hard choice for me. Books are for me what shoes are to my eldest daughter. Still, I vowed, this time, I would be ruthless. I grabbed a paperback entitled, "The Dictionary of Cliches, Over 2,000 entries," off the top shelf. Easy, I thought, this is one easy choice since not using clichés has always been emphasized in writing courses, writers' magazines and my writers' groups. As writers, we're challenged, instead, to new ways of saying things rather than lazily using clichés.

Still, I was curious. After all, the author, James Rogers, had found clichés noteworthy enough to collect and publish them in dictionary form. I opened the book. Generally, Rogers agreed, clichés are fairly considered overworked and banal ways of expression. But, he asserts, "clichés can serve as the lubricant of language: summing up a point or a situation, easing a transition in thought, adding a seasoning of humor to a discourse."
I continued to read and quickly became immersed in the whole concept of what makes a cliché a cliché, where they originated, and how, if used wisely, they might actually enhance my writing. Here's some of what I learned.

What is a cliché? A cliché is language that's lost its originality, been overused over time, or a new phrase that's been repeated too often. All we have to do is watch the news and hear phrases like "connect the dots," or "at the end of the day," to know it isn't not only old phrases like "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" (first coined in 1546) or "footloose and fancy free" (first uttered by Will Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night's Dream) that qualify as worn-out expressions.

Origin of clichés. When I began reading the entries, I couldn't stop. Many, I found, were Biblical in nature ("Makes your hair stand on end, Job 4:13-14), while others were from great literature and poetry ("A horse of a different color," Twelfth Night – Shakespeare, once again). Here's a sampling of where some others began.
A-OK: Coined by a NASA official in 1961 to indicate that the mission was going well.
Between you and me and the lamppost: The first recorded use was by Charles Dickens (Nicholas Nickleby,1839). 
Cried all the way to the bank: Liberace used this phrase in his 1973 autobiography.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth: A Latin version of this expression appeared in a work by St. Jerome in A.D. 420.
Throw the baby out with the bath water: Used more than once by George Bernard Shaw. One example was in 1909 (Pen Portraits and Reviews).

When to use clichés. Like Rogers, I believe there are instances where clichés are appropriate and can actually help move your story forward or help catch the reader's attention.

As titles. Consider the cliché "time to kill." John Grisham put that cliché to good use in his book, A Time to Kill. or, "saving grace," as evidenced by Julie Garwood's bestseller, Saving Grace, as well as, Burden of Proof (Scott Turow) and Stone Cold and True Blue, both by David Baldacci, one of my personal favorite mystery writers.

As a title with a twist. The title of this blog, for example, uses a cliché with a twist by substituting "cloud" with the word "cliché." This works especially well, I think, in an opinion humor piece. A title can also be twisted by substituting a synonym for one of the words in a cliché. Something like "Beyond the pail," or "make head or tale of it," or "the American weigh." I haven't written any of these articles, but I can picture the first as a woman with morning sickness, a compulsive liar as the second, or a look at obesity in the third, a really heavy (excuse the pun, please) topic right now. Another example is Jodi Picoult's book, "My Sister's Keeper," altered from the original cliché, "my brother's keeper."

As a way to make a point with as few words as possible. The columnist, George Will, for example, wrote an article in which he said the Chicago Cubs fans support their team "through thin and thin." In fiction, a term like "Trojan horse" can encompass an entire concept that could require several paragraphs to explain that could distract from the main fiber of the story.

As a tool to show minor characters without a lot of verbiage. Letting a minor character use some clichés can help develop a personality without a lot of description.

As a marker of a particular era. Allowing a minor character to use a phrase like "the cat's meow," helps the reader to visualize the 1920's.

Caution: It takes some skill to know "when to hold them and when to fold them," clichés, that is. For example, while they can help "flesh out" minor characters, allowing main characters to do the same creates a stereotypical, flat character, so avoid that "like the plague." So, "when in doubt, leave them out," or run them by your writers' group. For now, I'm going to put my cliché dictionary back on the shelf. It's earned a spot in my reference library.