A Place to Nourish Your Soul

"You mix it with your love and emotion to create magic. Through cooking, you raise your spiritual level and balance yourself in a world that is materialistic." Laura Esqiuvel, Like Water for Chocolate

Everyone has a favorite room in their house. Mine is the kitchen, though, it wasn't always so. Several lifetimes ago, as I approached my wedding day, my then-future husband began suggesting that perhaps I should be spending time with my mother learning how to cook. I brushed off his increasing insistence, saying, "If I can read, I can cook."

After we'd been married for a few months, he confessed his parents had been teasing him, telling him he would starve once we were married since I didn't know how to cook. "Just a pretty face," my future father-in-law had said, "That isn't going to keep you from getting hungry."

I must admit for the first few months of our marriage we did exist mostly on love. My meals were definitely substandard, but dear Will quickly learned not to tell me so. Ah, discretion, another secret of a long, happy marriage. But that's a subject for another time…

Gradually, my skills improved until even my in-laws, especially my father-in-law, looked forward to coming to Sunday dinners at our house. Still, it wasn't until I returned to work that I truly realized my kitchen as a refuge and my spiritual place. I'd come home frazzled by all the work politics and problems, too tired to cook, I'd think, until I started to prepare the food.      

I began to notice that by the time dinner was ready to put on the table, a smoothing of my frayed nerves had occurred. The simple task of making a salad, peeling potatoes, or stirring the spaghetti sauce became the respite I needed to reflect on the day and my life.

A few years ago, I bought a small book entitled The Mindful Cook by Isaac Cronin. Cronin says "you can nourish your soul, develop your mind, and eat well at the same time!" That sentence, as well as, the rest of this neat tome gave me a new perspective on the everyday task of time in the kitchen.

The idea of combining those three elements into necessary tasks intrigued me. And the author gave what I already knew a voice and a mindfulness I didn't realize was possible - that by intentionally putting myself in a spiritual frame of mind, my kitchen would be even more the place where I could always retreat and find harmony.

Here's some tips on how you, too, can bring mindfulness to your cooking:

1. Make the kitchen uniquely yours by adding a color you especially like. My favorite is teal and the backsplash is the area I see most.
2. Put favorite pictures or paintings where you can view them while you're preparing food. I've placed pictures of my two sets of grandchildren, over my stove so I can send them my love, thoughts, and prayers. Somehow, I know those thoughts do fly across the miles to kiss them even though my positive regard may not be consciously received.
3. Be fully present by centering on one task at a time. Multitasking may be in vogue, but it's definitely overrated and more stressful!
4. Mentally quiet yourself so you can really see the color of deep red summer tomatoes, smell the pungent aroma of rosemary, and feel the texture of  papery parchment covered onions.
5. Be good to yourself even if it's a meal for one. In the early Julia Child TV shows (I'm talking black and white here, at least at my house), once the meal was ready, she sat down alone, wine glass in hand, to eat and savor what she'd prepared. 

So, whether you're toasting a bagel, making sticky buns (one of my favorites), or roasting a turkey, eating alone or with others, you can bring spiritual nourishment to the kitchen and table. Somehow, the food tastes even better when mixed with joy and mindfulness.

Bon Appetit!

A Writers’ Conference for All the Write Reasons

"I'm going to write because I cannot help it." Charlotte Bronte  

At the Philadelphia Writer's Conference this past weekend (June 11 – 13), Loretta Barrett, of Loretta Barrett Books, used almost the same words in describing writers she represents. She and Charlotte are right. Writing is what we do because we must. We love it and yet, sometimes resent it when we think of all the other things we could be doing like going to the beach, shopping, or just hanging out. Sometimes, we ask ourselves why we choose to do something that can be so frustrating, but then, we have one of those moments when the words come easy or when we're able to pull exactly what we need from our gut. Those moments are rare for me, so I often have to slog through. Still, I can't not write.

Going to a writers' conference is a wonderful way to refresh, renew, and share your passion for your craft. It's especially nice to talk to other writers and get some of their advice. For example, the first morning I was sitting in the hotel lobby, a woman sat down near me and asked, "Are you working on your pitch?"
"Yes," I said.
She smiled, and said, "Want to try it out on me? I've done this before – successfully."
Her advice included the following:

1. Describe your story in one sentence that includes the character, her goal, and the conflict that prevents her achieving that goal.
2. Tell what makes it different from other books.
3. Take a note card with a few key points.
4. Show enthusiasm and belief in your book.

One of my main goals in attending was to try to sell my novel, Bellehaven. Armed with the advice of my lobby angel, I was ready, though nervous, to speak to an agent. The process at a conference is a lot like speed dating (although I've never experienced that first hand!). It offers an all too brief opportunity to make a favorable impression and hopefully hear an agent say the magic words, "Send me 60 pages and your synopsis. I'd like to take a look at it."
This year, success! I was able to pitch my book well enough to have an agent and a publisher ask to see a portion of my novel. Now all I have to do is write a letter, review and refine my first 60 pages, polish my synopsis, and get it all in the mail. It's a wonderful, but scary prospect.

The greatest thing about a writers' conference, besides the energy the gathering garners and the knowledgeable workshop presenters (all successful writers), is the pleasure of talking to fellow writers. Take business cards and use the time between workshops to meet as many writers as you can. You'll find lots of people have knowledge they can share, whether it be about the art of writing or the business side.

Participate in everything offered. Register early enough to send manuscripts for professional critiquing by workshop leaders, as well as, entries for the contests in your category. Consider trying another genre, too, like writing a poem or an essay if you normally write fiction. Check out the Wall contests if the conference offers them. These are all one page submissions that you pin to the wall. Flash fiction, nonfiction, and poetry are the three categories. If you're like me, you'll be tired and ready to rest just about the time of night when the rap sessions begin. Fortunately for me, I had a friend who insisted that I "go for just a little while." Once there, the process energized me enough to stay for the whole session.

The keynote speaker, Larry Kane, Philadelphia TV anchor, opened the conference by telling us his writing journey, one that included traveling with the Beatles on their first American tour. At the time, he was 21 and reluctant to go. He thought it was more important to stay at home to report on the Cuban crisis than to go "off with a band no one would remember three months later." His editor's insistence that he go on the tour changed the trajectory of his career. What direction would his life had taken if he had skipped that experience? Sitting there listening, I thought how his story sounded more like fiction than real life. I guess John Lennon said it best in one of his songs: "Life is just what happens when you're busy making other plans."

What Larry Kane experienced was unusual. Most of us don't have something that amazing come along to help propel us toward success. We have to make our own breaks. Going to a writers' conference can be a tool to help us.

Lyric from Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. Available at: http://www.beatles.ws/songa-e.htm.