Yoko and Me

I’ve always been a Beatles fan and after they split up, I continued to follow their separate careers. I confess John Lennon held most of my attention as an individual musician and song writer and the love I saw between Yoko and John fascinated me. I can recall vividly the scene of their 1969 bed-in and the buzz it created. They seemed so carefree to me despite the serious reason behind their gentle form of protest. At the time, I was twenty-nine and nearly drowning in motherhood—four daughters under the age of five. Wistfully, I wondered what it would be like to stay in bed for peace.

Later, I remember my great sadness when this gentle man was killed in 1980. By then, my children were in their teens and doing well, the youngest twelve. At the time, as most of the world did, I grieved for Yoko. Her sadness, I always thought,  reflected in her tight lipped smile in the years after his death.

 Recently, I saw her on television and was struck by a different look. I realized it was in her smile, now a wide open grin. She spoke of her long-envisioned project to connect the world through smiling. “It was hard for me, too,” she said, “After my husband John Lennon passed away, and I tried to smile for my health.”

She suggested we could begin as she did, at first in front of a mirror smiling at ourselves. Initially, Yoko continued, her wide smile felt phony, but the more she practiced, the more natural and real it became. Now she wants the whole world to smile and believes that can lead to peace.

Personally, I’ve always smiled a lot, but after listening to Yoko, I reexamined how I smile. I thought back to an incident in nursing school when I greeted a classmate with my usual wide open smile and a cheerful “good morning” at our 6:30 AM morning inspection. Her response was scathing. “You don’t know how much you depress me every morning with that big smile. It’s way too early for that.” As an impressional nineteen year old, I was stung by her comment stung, and couldn’t help worrying whether others saw me as she did. As a result, I think, I developed a restrained polite business kind of smile, reserving my full on grin for those I knew well.

Yoko inspired me. Yesterday, I gave the sad looking young man pumping my gas a wide sincere smile. “Thanks and have a real good day,” I said. His down turned lips turned up, his shoulders straightened and he gifted me with a full grin. “No problem and you have a great day, too.” As I pulled out of the gas station, I felt my spirit lift.

Yoko's right. Like their bed-in so many years ago,  her smile campaign is an intriguing idea and one that captures our imagination, but this time, unlike the bed in, we can all take part. I know I’ll be better giving my all to every person I meet.

I think you will, too. So give someone a smile today and if you’re alone give it to yourself. I like to think if John Lennon was still here he might add, “Give peace a chance, one smile at a time.”

A Writers’ Conference for All the Write Reasons

"I'm going to write because I cannot help it." Charlotte Bronte  

At the Philadelphia Writer's Conference this past weekend (June 11 – 13), Loretta Barrett, of Loretta Barrett Books, used almost the same words in describing writers she represents. She and Charlotte are right. Writing is what we do because we must. We love it and yet, sometimes resent it when we think of all the other things we could be doing like going to the beach, shopping, or just hanging out. Sometimes, we ask ourselves why we choose to do something that can be so frustrating, but then, we have one of those moments when the words come easy or when we're able to pull exactly what we need from our gut. Those moments are rare for me, so I often have to slog through. Still, I can't not write.

Going to a writers' conference is a wonderful way to refresh, renew, and share your passion for your craft. It's especially nice to talk to other writers and get some of their advice. For example, the first morning I was sitting in the hotel lobby, a woman sat down near me and asked, "Are you working on your pitch?"
"Yes," I said.
She smiled, and said, "Want to try it out on me? I've done this before – successfully."
Her advice included the following:

1. Describe your story in one sentence that includes the character, her goal, and the conflict that prevents her achieving that goal.
2. Tell what makes it different from other books.
3. Take a note card with a few key points.
4. Show enthusiasm and belief in your book.

One of my main goals in attending was to try to sell my novel, Bellehaven. Armed with the advice of my lobby angel, I was ready, though nervous, to speak to an agent. The process at a conference is a lot like speed dating (although I've never experienced that first hand!). It offers an all too brief opportunity to make a favorable impression and hopefully hear an agent say the magic words, "Send me 60 pages and your synopsis. I'd like to take a look at it."
This year, success! I was able to pitch my book well enough to have an agent and a publisher ask to see a portion of my novel. Now all I have to do is write a letter, review and refine my first 60 pages, polish my synopsis, and get it all in the mail. It's a wonderful, but scary prospect.

The greatest thing about a writers' conference, besides the energy the gathering garners and the knowledgeable workshop presenters (all successful writers), is the pleasure of talking to fellow writers. Take business cards and use the time between workshops to meet as many writers as you can. You'll find lots of people have knowledge they can share, whether it be about the art of writing or the business side.

Participate in everything offered. Register early enough to send manuscripts for professional critiquing by workshop leaders, as well as, entries for the contests in your category. Consider trying another genre, too, like writing a poem or an essay if you normally write fiction. Check out the Wall contests if the conference offers them. These are all one page submissions that you pin to the wall. Flash fiction, nonfiction, and poetry are the three categories. If you're like me, you'll be tired and ready to rest just about the time of night when the rap sessions begin. Fortunately for me, I had a friend who insisted that I "go for just a little while." Once there, the process energized me enough to stay for the whole session.

The keynote speaker, Larry Kane, Philadelphia TV anchor, opened the conference by telling us his writing journey, one that included traveling with the Beatles on their first American tour. At the time, he was 21 and reluctant to go. He thought it was more important to stay at home to report on the Cuban crisis than to go "off with a band no one would remember three months later." His editor's insistence that he go on the tour changed the trajectory of his career. What direction would his life had taken if he had skipped that experience? Sitting there listening, I thought how his story sounded more like fiction than real life. I guess John Lennon said it best in one of his songs: "Life is just what happens when you're busy making other plans."

What Larry Kane experienced was unusual. Most of us don't have something that amazing come along to help propel us toward success. We have to make our own breaks. Going to a writers' conference can be a tool to help us.

Lyric from Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. Available at: http://www.beatles.ws/songa-e.htm.