How to Make (and Keep) New Year's Resolutions

People usually fall into several categories - those who always make resolutions, those who don't and never will, and those who have tried and failed and thus have stopped even trying. Being an inveterate resolution maker, I believe resolutions are a worthwhile and valuable way to better our lives. So for those who may want to try again or try for the first time, I'd like to share my thoughts on how to make and keep your resolutions. First, it's important to understand some of the beliefs that can get in the way and sabotage your efforts.

1. The belief that making resolutions must be done by New Year's Day

• The week from Christmas to New Year's is fraught with social activities, too much wine and food, and too many distractions. Allow yourself to reflect on the past year first.


• Consider what you would like to change in the coming year, but don't make any promises to yourself - yet.


• After the tree has been put on the curb (or planted) and the decorations are packed away, begin to make your list. The first item: Complete list of goals for 2010 by the end of January.

2. The belief that keeping resolutions must start immediately on the 1st of the year

• Since your list won't be complete, you can pitch hint #2 into the wastebasket.


• Look at your list of goals and decide which ones are most important and which ones you can work on later. Trying to change your behaviors or habits all at once is too overwhelming. Instead, establish a time frame for each. Maybe start working on one in February, add one in March, and so on.


• Try to pick one from each category. For example, one health/exercise goal, if that's on your list, one civic if you have things you want to take up for your community and/or church, and perhaps, one for self improvement - like the novel/poem/painting you've really want to start.

3. The belief that establishing goals is simply a matter of knowing what you want to accomplish

• Knowing what you want to accomplish is only the first step. Losing weight, for instance, sounds simple, but it's only the first direction in the mapquest of being successful. Break that goal into bitesize pieces. Establish the directions. Perhaps, "I'll begin by measuring my portions, write down everything that passes my lips, do a calorie count."


• Start gradually. If you've been eating and loving chocolate, don't forego, vow to begin by eating half as much of it as you do now.


• Establish the steps that will come next once you're successful and satisfied with your beginning.

4. The belief that if you've failed to keep your resolutions at the beginning, you should give up

• Set a time frame for yourself to review the goals you've set and decide what you can add or or change to be successful.


• Don't be afraid to amend, change, or redirect your goals.


• Congratulate yourself on small steps forward and don't get discouraged if you slip up. Psychologists suggest it takes three months to change a habit, so stay with it!

I hope you find this helpful. Now I must sign off as I am getting ready to start my list of 2010 resolutions. Oh, one last thought, it's also OK to make the same resolutions year after year, even if you don't succeed every year or for the entire year. Consider the example I used of losing weight. If you manage to maintain that goal in even in small steps for three to six months, you've probably avoided some weight gain!

The Interlude between Christmas and New Year's

I always find this a time for reflection and kind of cleaning up loose ends before the New Year begins. It's a pause. There's nowhere I have to be - no meetings, no commitments. This brief interlude affords me time to squirrel in and do whatever I've been avoiding or not had time to do.

So, today, I decided to edit my Picasa file. For some reason, I've copied pictures in several different files, so I have duplicates and photos in all the wrong places - twice. Does anyone out there have a neat way to file all these images? If you do, shout it out.

Of course, looking at all these photos soon turned into its own occupation: reminiscing about all the good times and the moments when I may have lost my cool on one of those trips. I'll have to add "patience" to my New Year's Resolutions this year. After several hours, I was pleased to note I only had two more files to go. I'll do them later. I'll have to add "eliminate procrastination" to that New Year's list.

Needing a break from all this, I opted for a snack of Brie, crackers, apples, wine, and a dish of cashews, just a small dish. I'll have to add "lost five pounds" to that, you guessed it, my New Year's Resolutions.

Now, I'm back to my computer determined to write another post. This whole blogging thing is new to me. How do you find topics for yours? If you have any thoughts, let me know. And again, I better add "commit to a blog a day or at least three a week so I can get the hang of this" to that lengthening list of goals.

Part of my problem is I'm not sure of what theme my blog should have. I see other blogs. I view them all with admiration. There's blogs on the '50's - I use them to do a reminiscing program for seniors. There's cooking and baking blogs - I go there for recipes whenever I want to try something new, which is often. And of course, there's political blogs - I go there when I'm bored or want to learn more about what other people think. Sewing blogs, too, where I can check out quilt design, colors, and other things. I definitely must add "decide what you want to be, at least on your blog" to that Resolution list.

All of this brings me to a question: How many of you are Resolution junkies like me? Stay tuned for my next blog. It definitely will include some pointers on how to make New Year's Resolutions. Every journey (change) begins with the first step.

Christmas, Past, Present, Future

Though Christmas comes but once a year, doesn't it seem to come so quickly? It seems as if we no sooner put the decorations away and it's time to get them out once more. So much to do, so little time. I always look forward to the day arriving because I know I can't do any more shopping or planning.

A sense of peace descends upon me and I know it's okay to put aside anything that hasn't yet been done and enjoy. This year, my husband, Will and I, will be staying home for the third year in a row. All of our children and grandchildren are far away - with only one living close enough for us to drive. And at that, it takes us two days

Our first year "alone," I worried about not going to one of our daughter's houses, but now, we've settled into our new routine and I look at it as a new time in our life. Sort of like our first Christmas alone together. Though, I don't even think of that first year as one truly alone since I was already pregnant with our first daughter. Already, I was thinking of myself as Mom and Will as Dad. That was 47 years ago! My, how those Christmases have flown by.

Each year, since then, I've put out our Christmas stockings, the ones I hand stitched that first year as a surprise for Will. At the time, he didn't act too thrilled. Looking back, I realize that more than likely the concept of becoming a father within the first year of becoming a husband hadn't quite soaked into his psyche. Since our daughter, Ginger, was nestled just under my heart, I think it was easier for me.

I find as I live longer, all the Christmases of my life are part of each year's celebration. So, I guess we really are not alone since all those memories live in our hearts. There's a bittersweet quality to the holiday as I review all the cherished mental pictures - our early years with our little girls as each one joined our family, their growing years, and yes, a little sadness as they grew beyond the magic of Santa Claus. Just a smidgen, though, one that was overcome by my joy in seeing them grow as they should into lovely young women.

Later, I wondered how much longer I would have all four come home for the holidays and then, all too soon, it happened, fortunately, not all of them at once, and the change was sweetened by the addition of grandchildren. Ah, once again the magic of Santa... Then all too soon, that, too, evaporated as the children of my children grew into their teen and preteen years.

As each year comes and goes, I no longer take them for granted as I did in years past. To be with my beloved, to talk to each of my children, and at least some of my grandchildren, is a gift beyond any other.

So, our stockings are hung, boxes from North Carolina and Florida have arrived and the presents await. Now, we, too, wait for the arrival of the Presence ourselves. And cherish not only the old memories, but the making of new ones. We are blessed in so many ways.

Merry Christmas, One and All!

Becoming a poet

It was our writers group Christmas party, and time to read the poems each of us was challenged to write and share with the group. We could write anything we wanted, but we were encouraged to write about ourselves.

There were so many good poems and so many different approaches to the writing of a poem. Some were profound, some funny, while some rhymed and some did not. We had epic poems and even haiku.

Like so many things in life, stepping outside our comfort zone can result in a wonderful experience, one full of discovery. Writing a poem was such an experience for me. I've shied away from this genre ever since a professor told me several of the "poems" I'd written for a class assignment were "interesting thoughts, but hardly poetry."

Some of the things I learned about writing poetry

• It's a thought provoking process. I found myself thinking often about the theme I wanted to explore, and as a result, how I saw my life.


• Words are so beautiful. And there were so many to choose from!


• Lacing words together is fun. It helped me to write down a list of words that related to my theme which was that of my life as an unfinished quilt.


• I want to try it again. Soon, very soon.


• The person most important to please is yourself. That is, unless you are planning to publish. Otherwise, there's great satisfaction in expressing your thoughts and emotions in poetry rather than prose


• It's surprisingly freeing. Knowing I can shape the words into any type of rhythm or spatial arrangement that holds meaning for me allows me to play in a way I hadn't expected.


• It helps to brainstorm a list of rhyming and related words. If you want to rhyme as I did, first list words that relate to the theme, topic, or emotion you want to express, then see if there's any words that relate or rhyme. *A list of the words I came up while brainstorming my poem are below

I write these thoughts as a complete poetry writing novice, but like that old cliche: "Every journey begins with the first step," I hope to write some more poems.Maybe even try one that doesn't rhyme.

Here's the poem I wrote for our Christmas party. I hope you like it even a fraction as much as I enjoyed writing it.

An Unfinished Quilt

Initial colors chosen by Another
Soft and gentle, pieced by my mother
Joined by greens, yellows, and blues
Fields and forests, nature’s hues.

More squares are added, some dark, some bright.
Deep reds, passionate purples, not always right
Stitched together now more as if by chance
But was it all planned or happenstance?

Dominated now by pink profusion
Whilst I stitch in dazed confusion
So many more patches to sew
I baste in haste to see it grow.

Unexpected stripes and patterns emerge
textures, values, shades, and facets converge
Yet it comes together, in joyous blend
Into a unique balance that will not end

Muted green, lavender, and lemon driven
Quieter tones are now a given.
Yet scarlets, cobalts, still fight for place
Oh, how long can they interface?

Now time to match and link
To ponder its pattern and think.
Examine it all for its symmetry of design
I stand back to view it as a whole, what made it mine?

*worn and warm, frayed around the edges
warmth and comfort, light and easy
color of the sun, border and stripes
symmetry of design, stained glass, mosiac
Interspersed shapes and colors
washed clean and new
viewed as a whole, yet distinct
seen from a distance
A burst of joy when cohesive and ends meet
texture/facets/value/fiber/blend
growing always, imperfect but yielding
a balance of colors, sizes, and shapes
new squares are added, the quilt grows larger
rip out the discordant parts
patch/match
swatch, scotch, botch, watch
lace, interface/interlace/place/grace/base/retrace/embrace/trace
slate/wait/abate/rate/dominate/placate

To Rhyme or not. That is the question

At our last writers’ group meeting, we were discussing our upcoming Christmas party and one of our leaders, Laura, suggested we each write a poem to read at the holiday gathering. I countered with an idea that had been brewing in my mind, “I thought maybe we could tell something about ourselves that no one here knows.”

“Great idea,” Laura said, “We can write a poem about ourselves.” So, now I must wrestle with writing a poem. Being the analytical person I like to think I am, I first looked through my filing cabinet for poems I had written long ago as part of a writing course. Maybe I shouldn’t have. The hope these poetic attempts might help evaporated like a drop of water on a hot stove. The professor had written on most of my offerings, “interesting thoughts, but I’m not sure it qualifies as a poem.”

From there, I went to the Internet figuring I could get an answer to anything I needed. I tried some good websites and here’s some of the advice I found.

Start with an idea, an inspiration, or a strong emotion:

This is the easy part, I thought, the poem is supposed to be about me. Not so easy, what about me? My torrid love life? My solitary childhood? My nursing career? Or perhaps, my philosophy? Definitely, not politics

Use descriptive words:

Easy one. I love words! I’m comfortable here.

Brainstorm:

Still feeling confident here. Let’s see, sum of my parts, life’s stages. Life as an optimist? Seasons of my life? Maybe not so easy, after all.

Remember rhythm and meter:

This is getting harder now. I’ll definitely have to visit the Internet again to ensure I know the difference.

Decide if you want it to rhyme or not:

Now I’m really getting nervous. What would Shakespeare do? Then again, I’m no Shakespeare and never will be. I return to my dusty file. I have some in rhyme and some in not. Since I’m an inveterate cryptogram devotee, I think I’ll opt for rhyme and try to match the words that rhyme to the thought I’m trying to convey.

In my Google search, I find this sage advice:

*What is a good poem?
A good poem is a slip-of-a-thing
That celebrates language, that takes
you on a short journey and touches your heart,
turns on your imagination, or tickles you funny-
bone somewhere along the way.

I am ready now to take my pen and paper in hand and start. I tell myself it will be character forming and stretch my horizons, in the same way as eating vegetables are good for us, and prune juice serves as a cathartic. But first I think I’ll do some more research, maybe read some Emily Dickinson or Robert Frost. The one thing I’ve learned is I WILL rhyme.



*Nikki Grimes. A Pocketful of Poems. Clarion, 2001. Danitra Brown Leaves Town. HarperCollins, 2002

As I begin to blog, I am looking for a place to start. What should I say in my first posting? It’s not easy to start and it’s even harder to find the beginning. So, I’m going to plunge in and talk about why I chose the name “Autumn Years” for my first blog. It wasn’t my first choice. I had names like “Seasons of Life” (already taken), “Life Seasons” (already taken), and a few others that were, you guessed it, already taken.

I ran it by my mentor, Beth, a veteran blogger, who said she liked it. “Besides,” she counseled me, “You can always go back and start over.” I like that. Not that I want to start over, but knowing I can. That’s a freeing feeling. Or at least it should be. Hopefully, once I am comfortable in my little blog cottage, it will be.
I like the name because it is the “autumn” of my life right now, a glorious time in my life, and a great surprise because I always thought of the age I am now as old and sort of finished. Until I reached it. What a wonderful discovery to find that it isn’t old after all. At least not the visual image I had of “old.” The colors of my days are blazing colors – reds, golds, greens, and blues. I’m able to savor each one.

Part of what I believe is we are different people throughout our years. Our thoughts, beliefs, and directions evolve and grow with each decade and each life change. So many things influence those changes. People we meet, circumstances, chance happenings, just a few of so many factors that determine who we become as we live many lives throughout our life span.

Each decade of our lives brings us new information, new roles, and different perspectives. I’ve been a daughter (albeit not a very obedient one), a sister, a girlfriend, a friend, a lover, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a nurse, an administrator, a writer, a bread maker, a homemaker (definitely not my favorite!), a mentor, a role model, a counselor, a volunteer, a traveler (not enough), a quiltmaker.
I’m not sure yet what else I’ll be. The nice thing is so many of those roles listed above still are part of who I am. They nestle next to each other, harmonious for the most part, occasionally rubbing up against each other, fighting for supremacy.
This blog will evolve, too, I hope, into many different directions. I want it to be a potpourri – writings, songs, lists, a recipe or two, thoughts on quilting, breadmaking, and anything else that comes into the bright hues of “autumn leaves.”

I’m so happy to be starting!