Every Cliché has a Silver Lining

After several months away in sunny Florida, I looked at my office with fresh eyes and decided to sort through my bookcase. Deciding which books to donate and which to keep is always a hard choice for me. Books are for me what shoes are to my eldest daughter. Still, I vowed, this time, I would be ruthless. I grabbed a paperback entitled, "The Dictionary of Cliches, Over 2,000 entries," off the top shelf. Easy, I thought, this is one easy choice since not using clichés has always been emphasized in writing courses, writers' magazines and my writers' groups. As writers, we're challenged, instead, to new ways of saying things rather than lazily using clichés.

Still, I was curious. After all, the author, James Rogers, had found clichés noteworthy enough to collect and publish them in dictionary form. I opened the book. Generally, Rogers agreed, clichés are fairly considered overworked and banal ways of expression. But, he asserts, "clichés can serve as the lubricant of language: summing up a point or a situation, easing a transition in thought, adding a seasoning of humor to a discourse."
I continued to read and quickly became immersed in the whole concept of what makes a cliché a cliché, where they originated, and how, if used wisely, they might actually enhance my writing. Here's some of what I learned.

What is a cliché? A cliché is language that's lost its originality, been overused over time, or a new phrase that's been repeated too often. All we have to do is watch the news and hear phrases like "connect the dots," or "at the end of the day," to know it isn't not only old phrases like "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" (first coined in 1546) or "footloose and fancy free" (first uttered by Will Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night's Dream) that qualify as worn-out expressions.

Origin of clichés. When I began reading the entries, I couldn't stop. Many, I found, were Biblical in nature ("Makes your hair stand on end, Job 4:13-14), while others were from great literature and poetry ("A horse of a different color," Twelfth Night – Shakespeare, once again). Here's a sampling of where some others began.
A-OK: Coined by a NASA official in 1961 to indicate that the mission was going well.
Between you and me and the lamppost: The first recorded use was by Charles Dickens (Nicholas Nickleby,1839). 
Cried all the way to the bank: Liberace used this phrase in his 1973 autobiography.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth: A Latin version of this expression appeared in a work by St. Jerome in A.D. 420.
Throw the baby out with the bath water: Used more than once by George Bernard Shaw. One example was in 1909 (Pen Portraits and Reviews).

When to use clichés. Like Rogers, I believe there are instances where clichés are appropriate and can actually help move your story forward or help catch the reader's attention.

As titles. Consider the cliché "time to kill." John Grisham put that cliché to good use in his book, A Time to Kill. or, "saving grace," as evidenced by Julie Garwood's bestseller, Saving Grace, as well as, Burden of Proof (Scott Turow) and Stone Cold and True Blue, both by David Baldacci, one of my personal favorite mystery writers.

As a title with a twist. The title of this blog, for example, uses a cliché with a twist by substituting "cloud" with the word "cliché." This works especially well, I think, in an opinion humor piece. A title can also be twisted by substituting a synonym for one of the words in a cliché. Something like "Beyond the pail," or "make head or tale of it," or "the American weigh." I haven't written any of these articles, but I can picture the first as a woman with morning sickness, a compulsive liar as the second, or a look at obesity in the third, a really heavy (excuse the pun, please) topic right now. Another example is Jodi Picoult's book, "My Sister's Keeper," altered from the original cliché, "my brother's keeper."

As a way to make a point with as few words as possible. The columnist, George Will, for example, wrote an article in which he said the Chicago Cubs fans support their team "through thin and thin." In fiction, a term like "Trojan horse" can encompass an entire concept that could require several paragraphs to explain that could distract from the main fiber of the story.

As a tool to show minor characters without a lot of verbiage. Letting a minor character use some clichés can help develop a personality without a lot of description.

As a marker of a particular era. Allowing a minor character to use a phrase like "the cat's meow," helps the reader to visualize the 1920's.

Caution: It takes some skill to know "when to hold them and when to fold them," clichés, that is. For example, while they can help "flesh out" minor characters, allowing main characters to do the same creates a stereotypical, flat character, so avoid that "like the plague." So, "when in doubt, leave them out," or run them by your writers' group. For now, I'm going to put my cliché dictionary back on the shelf. It's earned a spot in my reference library.

Seashore Seasons of Life

The choices we make influence so much of our lives, choices like the places we choose to be and live. Living by the sea on an island was one of those choices that created so much of that influence for me. When I look back on my life, I can't help but compare it to the seasons of the seashore.


In the spring of my life, the seashore served as a backdrop for my yearnings, especially my dreams of romantic love. In that time, there were so many false starts - kisses without substance on a moonlit beach - made all the more lonely because the nights were so beautiful. Then the promises of the sea became mine. I met my soul mate and the promises whispered by the waves became a reality.

That was the spring of my life.


Summer came with a bright and blazing intensity - my childbearing years. Days replaced starlit nights in importance. And sunny days were filled with sand buckets, snacks, and suntan lotion to protect tender skin. Vigilance was the keyword during the summer season of my life as I watched the little ones skitter on the beach, much like little sandpipers. Later, bobbing in the surf. Then later, I played the watchful waiting game while they visited places with names like the Tide, the Ketch, the Shell - places with sea-like names, but completely alien from my beloved sea.

That was the summer of my life.


Now I'm in the autumn of my ocean watching. This season is calm, still warm kissed by the remembered intensity of the summer sun. Relaxed now, I watch my grands hurl themselves toward the incoming tide, calm because I know the children of my summer are in their summers - secure in their own lives and loves. I am tranquil and filled with peace in the fall season as I clasp the hand of my spring season lover, my companion in three seashore seasons.



I find I want to hold this season more than I have ever wanted to hold any other season in my life. This September song grows more poignant, more precious than any other, for the sun-warmed sea still holds a strong whisper of summer, and the remembrance of the everlasting promise of spring.

This is the autumn of my life.



I do not know what lies ahead of me as I push away the thought of the approaching winter of my life. I do know God has been good to me through these three seasons. Perhaps the best has been saved for last. I will find out if I get to spend my winter by the sea. In any case, I realize life has its cycle, and whatever comes, life will continue, and future generations will carry at least a small piece of me through their seashore seasons.

Coining New Words and Reinventing Old Ones

There's nothing more fun than a play on words, or trying to invent new ones. My daughter sent me this and I thought you might like to read about this contest, the Mensa Invitational, sponsored by the Washington Post. Readers are challenged to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5.. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people which stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that getsinto your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown .

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

A Celebration of Life

It's a celebration, it's a celebration
Celebrate good times, come on!
Celebrate good times, come on!

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration that'll last throughout the year
Shall bring you good times, and good laughter too
We're gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now
Celebration - we're gonna celebrate and have a good time



Celebration -We're gonna celebrate and have a good time, celebration - we're gonna celebrate and have a good time
It's time to come together
It's up to you, what's your pleasure
Everyone around the world Come on!!

It's a celebration! It's a celebration!
Celebrate good times, come on!
Celebrate good times, come on!

(Julia is the one in the center, with "76" on her shirt)

On Tuesday evening, January 5th, I perched close to the TV to watch the halftime show at the Orange Bowl. Why? Not because I'm a football fan, but because my granddaughter, Julia, was dancing with about 900 others in a circle around Kool and the Gang. Despite the numbers on the field, I had hopes of being able to single her out.

A silly thought, I know, but we grandmothers often are beyond hopeful in our thinking. Especially when it comes to our dear grands. Maybe because it's one of the least complicated relationships in the universe. They are. We love. So simple.

As I sat there, watching the joyous movement, I realized how apropos the song was for the moment. "Celebration" is one of those songs woven into the fabric of my life, so much so that I was sure I had danced to it in the '60's. Apparently not. When I headed to Google, I found this iconic song came out in the '80's, although Kool and the Gang had been around since the late '60's.
Still, what could be more natural in the evolution of life than to see Julia dancing to the song that I'd been dancing to with wild abandonment for close to thirty years? Knowing the child of my child was dancing to "Celebration" with Kool and the Gang live exemplified the continuity of life and perhaps, little hint of immortality for me.

I had hoped she was savoring the moment even more than I was watching it. When I received the picture above, I could see her pleasure in moving to the beat and that was only the rehearsal. Later, my daughter told me the swirl of dancers around the stage was supposed to signify a record spinning. It went far beyond an inanimate object such as that. It was so much more alive and electric.

To Julia, and to all who may read this post, my wishes for your continued "Celebration" of life.

lyrics can be found at http://www.songlyrics.com/.

How to Make (and Keep) New Year's Resolutions

People usually fall into several categories - those who always make resolutions, those who don't and never will, and those who have tried and failed and thus have stopped even trying. Being an inveterate resolution maker, I believe resolutions are a worthwhile and valuable way to better our lives. So for those who may want to try again or try for the first time, I'd like to share my thoughts on how to make and keep your resolutions. First, it's important to understand some of the beliefs that can get in the way and sabotage your efforts.

1. The belief that making resolutions must be done by New Year's Day

• The week from Christmas to New Year's is fraught with social activities, too much wine and food, and too many distractions. Allow yourself to reflect on the past year first.


• Consider what you would like to change in the coming year, but don't make any promises to yourself - yet.


• After the tree has been put on the curb (or planted) and the decorations are packed away, begin to make your list. The first item: Complete list of goals for 2010 by the end of January.

2. The belief that keeping resolutions must start immediately on the 1st of the year

• Since your list won't be complete, you can pitch hint #2 into the wastebasket.


• Look at your list of goals and decide which ones are most important and which ones you can work on later. Trying to change your behaviors or habits all at once is too overwhelming. Instead, establish a time frame for each. Maybe start working on one in February, add one in March, and so on.


• Try to pick one from each category. For example, one health/exercise goal, if that's on your list, one civic if you have things you want to take up for your community and/or church, and perhaps, one for self improvement - like the novel/poem/painting you've really want to start.

3. The belief that establishing goals is simply a matter of knowing what you want to accomplish

• Knowing what you want to accomplish is only the first step. Losing weight, for instance, sounds simple, but it's only the first direction in the mapquest of being successful. Break that goal into bitesize pieces. Establish the directions. Perhaps, "I'll begin by measuring my portions, write down everything that passes my lips, do a calorie count."


• Start gradually. If you've been eating and loving chocolate, don't forego, vow to begin by eating half as much of it as you do now.


• Establish the steps that will come next once you're successful and satisfied with your beginning.

4. The belief that if you've failed to keep your resolutions at the beginning, you should give up

• Set a time frame for yourself to review the goals you've set and decide what you can add or or change to be successful.


• Don't be afraid to amend, change, or redirect your goals.


• Congratulate yourself on small steps forward and don't get discouraged if you slip up. Psychologists suggest it takes three months to change a habit, so stay with it!

I hope you find this helpful. Now I must sign off as I am getting ready to start my list of 2010 resolutions. Oh, one last thought, it's also OK to make the same resolutions year after year, even if you don't succeed every year or for the entire year. Consider the example I used of losing weight. If you manage to maintain that goal in even in small steps for three to six months, you've probably avoided some weight gain!

The Interlude between Christmas and New Year's

I always find this a time for reflection and kind of cleaning up loose ends before the New Year begins. It's a pause. There's nowhere I have to be - no meetings, no commitments. This brief interlude affords me time to squirrel in and do whatever I've been avoiding or not had time to do.

So, today, I decided to edit my Picasa file. For some reason, I've copied pictures in several different files, so I have duplicates and photos in all the wrong places - twice. Does anyone out there have a neat way to file all these images? If you do, shout it out.

Of course, looking at all these photos soon turned into its own occupation: reminiscing about all the good times and the moments when I may have lost my cool on one of those trips. I'll have to add "patience" to my New Year's Resolutions this year. After several hours, I was pleased to note I only had two more files to go. I'll do them later. I'll have to add "eliminate procrastination" to that New Year's list.

Needing a break from all this, I opted for a snack of Brie, crackers, apples, wine, and a dish of cashews, just a small dish. I'll have to add "lost five pounds" to that, you guessed it, my New Year's Resolutions.

Now, I'm back to my computer determined to write another post. This whole blogging thing is new to me. How do you find topics for yours? If you have any thoughts, let me know. And again, I better add "commit to a blog a day or at least three a week so I can get the hang of this" to that lengthening list of goals.

Part of my problem is I'm not sure of what theme my blog should have. I see other blogs. I view them all with admiration. There's blogs on the '50's - I use them to do a reminiscing program for seniors. There's cooking and baking blogs - I go there for recipes whenever I want to try something new, which is often. And of course, there's political blogs - I go there when I'm bored or want to learn more about what other people think. Sewing blogs, too, where I can check out quilt design, colors, and other things. I definitely must add "decide what you want to be, at least on your blog" to that Resolution list.

All of this brings me to a question: How many of you are Resolution junkies like me? Stay tuned for my next blog. It definitely will include some pointers on how to make New Year's Resolutions. Every journey (change) begins with the first step.

Christmas, Past, Present, Future

Though Christmas comes but once a year, doesn't it seem to come so quickly? It seems as if we no sooner put the decorations away and it's time to get them out once more. So much to do, so little time. I always look forward to the day arriving because I know I can't do any more shopping or planning.

A sense of peace descends upon me and I know it's okay to put aside anything that hasn't yet been done and enjoy. This year, my husband, Will and I, will be staying home for the third year in a row. All of our children and grandchildren are far away - with only one living close enough for us to drive. And at that, it takes us two days

Our first year "alone," I worried about not going to one of our daughter's houses, but now, we've settled into our new routine and I look at it as a new time in our life. Sort of like our first Christmas alone together. Though, I don't even think of that first year as one truly alone since I was already pregnant with our first daughter. Already, I was thinking of myself as Mom and Will as Dad. That was 47 years ago! My, how those Christmases have flown by.

Each year, since then, I've put out our Christmas stockings, the ones I hand stitched that first year as a surprise for Will. At the time, he didn't act too thrilled. Looking back, I realize that more than likely the concept of becoming a father within the first year of becoming a husband hadn't quite soaked into his psyche. Since our daughter, Ginger, was nestled just under my heart, I think it was easier for me.

I find as I live longer, all the Christmases of my life are part of each year's celebration. So, I guess we really are not alone since all those memories live in our hearts. There's a bittersweet quality to the holiday as I review all the cherished mental pictures - our early years with our little girls as each one joined our family, their growing years, and yes, a little sadness as they grew beyond the magic of Santa Claus. Just a smidgen, though, one that was overcome by my joy in seeing them grow as they should into lovely young women.

Later, I wondered how much longer I would have all four come home for the holidays and then, all too soon, it happened, fortunately, not all of them at once, and the change was sweetened by the addition of grandchildren. Ah, once again the magic of Santa... Then all too soon, that, too, evaporated as the children of my children grew into their teen and preteen years.

As each year comes and goes, I no longer take them for granted as I did in years past. To be with my beloved, to talk to each of my children, and at least some of my grandchildren, is a gift beyond any other.

So, our stockings are hung, boxes from North Carolina and Florida have arrived and the presents await. Now, we, too, wait for the arrival of the Presence ourselves. And cherish not only the old memories, but the making of new ones. We are blessed in so many ways.

Merry Christmas, One and All!